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ponderisms

drtyTshrt2010-08-08 03:04:56 +0000 #1
I copied this from another site. I thought it might be enjoyed here.
codyh2010-08-08 03:19:31 +0000 #2
Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead

Those are my favorite. Haha
codyh2010-08-08 03:11:41 +0000 #3
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for

your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried

in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a

good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like

every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars

to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss

America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you

naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze

these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible

crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to

smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you

going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why

can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point

to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both

dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he

just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,

what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call

it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,

but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
IBBruin2010-08-08 04:21:01 +0000 #4
If a #2 pencil is the most popular pencil, why is it still #2?
drtyTshrt2010-08-08 04:16:41 +0000 #5
why are all the pictures of bigfoot fuzy? Maybe the're not. Maybe there is a big fuzzy monster running

around getting his picture taken.
codyh2010-08-08 04:25:20 +0000 #6
^^Isn't that mitch hedburg? haha
BlackBeast2010-08-08 05:05:45 +0000 #7
I am an elevator mechanic and I can tell you that pushing the button more than once just wears out the button
DTX2010-08-08 06:27:31 +0000 #8
Quote:

Originally Posted by codyh

1) Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for

your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

2) Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

3) What disease did cured ham actually have?

4) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a

good idea to put wheels on luggage?

5) Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like

every two hours?

6) If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

1) taxes

2) its cheaper/easier to make

3) life

4) common sense is not that common

5) refer to answer 4

6) it's possible, my brother used to work there and the guys were careful to only have pepsi products
DTX2010-08-08 05:23:11 +0000 #9
Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackBeast

I am an elevator mechanic and I can tell you that pushing the button more than once just wears out the button

Job security

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